Searching for the Father She Never Had — Jawahir’s Story.

Dr Nuur Hassan
3 min readApr 30, 2023
Photo by Ifrah Akhter on Unsplash

Jawahir (pseudonym), a 25-year-old university graduate, knows what it’s like to grow up without a father. When she was just ten, her father left the family, leaving her and her younger brother to be raised by a single mother. Jawahir is known for her academic excellence, level-headedness, and conservative social views( she is often nicknamed the perennial Hijabi girl). However, her struggles with men have been a constant battle due to her lack of trust.

Jawahir yearns for an imaginary perfect male, the father she never had. Her fear often stems from the possibility that her ultimate choice of a partner may walk away as her father did. Jawahir’s communication with men is daunting because she needs more self-confidence. Her father’s abandonment has left her feeling devastated and wanting.

She loved her father and desired his presence in her life, but that never came to fruition.

Jawahir had no male role model in her life, which further compounds her trust issues around men. She despises compliments from men, viewing them as disingenuous. Her search for the father she never had weighs heavy on her heart.

Despite her father’s absence, Jawahir has managed to excel academically and maintain her social conservatism. However, her personal life has been plagued by the lingering impact of her father’s abandonment. Therefore, she seeks a man who will be a reliable partner, a stable presence in her life, and an affectionate father to her future children.
Her lack of a male role model has also affected her self-esteem and confidence. As a result, she often doubts herself and second-guesses her decisions, which makes it even harder for her to connect with men. Jawahir’s inability to accept compliments from men comes from deep-seated insecurities and a fear of being judged.

Jawahir’s struggles with men have made her wary of committing to a serious relationship. She fears being vulnerable and being let down again. However, deep down, she yearns for the companionship and love that only a father figure can provide.

Jawahir’s journey towards finding a perfect father-like partner is a complex and emotional one. Her past experiences have shaped her present, and the fear of repeating the past has prevented her from moving forward in multiple relationships. Yet, her desire for a father figure remains significant, and she continues to search for that perfect man who will fill the void in her heart.

Jawahir’s story highlights the importance of having strong male role models in girls’ lives when growing up. The absence of a father figure can profoundly impact a girl’s self-esteem, confidence, and ability to form healthy relationships with men.

It is crucial to have positive male role models who can teach young girls how to communicate and trust and help them develop a healthy sense of self-worth. Jawahir’s search for the father she never had is a real reminder of a father’s lasting impact on girls’ lives.

Girls, too, need their fathers!!

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Dr Nuur Hassan
Dr Nuur Hassan

Written by Dr Nuur Hassan

Reader, writer and epistemological optimist.

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